A letter to Heaven.

A letter to Papa Joe.

Sometimes I think everything is going to be OK. Sometimes I doubt that things will ever be normal again. Can you read blogs in Heaven? Do you know how many times I've tried to talk to you, before I remember you are not there to answer? I'm selfish and I feel like I still need you... I haven't learned all of your recipes yet.. I still have hugs for you.. I don't know how to check the oil in the Van for you. I need more time with you. More time to learn everything that you know. More time to buy you Christmas gifts, and to sit on the porch and talk about life. I need just one more phone call from you that starts off with "Baby girl, how are you?". I just want to sit on your lap and kiss your cheek and tell you how much I love you. I don't know how I am going to do everything without you. I don't know how I'm going to hold back from calling you when we find out the sex of Baby Bee, or when Sweet Cheeks is potty trained, or when we finally decide to go refrigerator shopping. I've always liked your opinions the best.  I don't know how my heart is going to continue to beat with this crack in it. What am I supposed to do on Sunday mornings now? That was our time... Me, you, and Sweet Cheeks. How do I fill that time? I can't replace you.

I just don't know how to keep going without you...

Goodbye.

Papa Joe

3/15/43-8/5/10

Dear Sweet Cheeks & Baby Bee,

This is a hard letter to write. Somehow writing it here makes it seem so final... more real that I am ready to accept. On August 5th, Papa Joe went to be with the Lord. He was the most amazing man I have ever met. I always felt I was lucky and so blessed to have him in my life. He was a man of integrity, and passion. He would always stand up for his family, and he loved his great-grand babies endlessly.

I never had a "dad". Not one worth mentioning, anyway. But Papa Joe stepped in to fill that role in my life. He taught me to drive a car. He took me prom dress shopping. He loaned me gas money when I was short. He answered the phone every time I got lost, needed advice, or didn't know which ingredients I needed at the grocery store. & Sometimes those calls came late at night, early in the morning, or multiple times a day. He was the one standing next to me on my wedding day... and every day before and after.

Sweet Cheeks, the day you were born, he was so excited. He sat around at the hospital all day waiting for your arrival. It was hard for him since he didn't have his oxygen with him. But he did it. Papa Joe couldn't wait to meet you, and he was one of the first ones in the room to hold you. He loved you so, so much. He bragged about you to anyone who would listen, and carried a picture of you with him in his wallet. He called you "Row-man", "His pride and joy". He taught you to sit up, and to climb on the couch. He gave you your first taste of chocolate. You loved to give him hugs and kisses as soon as you saw him. He got such a kick out of you.

I wish he could be here to watch you both grow. He wanted nothing more than to spend as much time as possible surrounded by family. I have photos saved to show you when you are older... We'll sit on the front porch with a cup of coffee and some old pictures and remember the amazing man called Papa Joe.

Love always,
Mama

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY SWEET CHEEKS!

"And now you're my whole life...

Now you're my whole world..." - Brad Paisley ("Then")

Dear Sweet Cheeks,

Tomorrow you turn ONE. Tomorrow is your very first birthday, and as much as I deny it, I am a crying mess thinking about this letter. Truth is, Ive been putting it off in order to slow down time... Its not working. Ive been pleading with the clock to stall before it hits 4:57pm tomorrow. Please, time? I'm not ready.

 I hope that you always dance. When you hear music, you instantly start swaying and jumping around. You make up your own songs, and say "Uhmm" in the car when you want the radio turned on. I hope you always have that extra beat in your step.

I love the way you know exactly what you want and you do what it takes to get it. Grab this life with both hands and go for every dream in your heart. Never settle. Never accept a "No" that should be a "Yes". Life is everything that you make it... So make it perfect. Build a life that you love living. I will take over that part for the next 17 years, if you'll allow me to.

I love being your mom. I love being "Mammmaaamama". One year ago tomorrow is the day you made me a Mom. You are nothing short of everything I always wanted. You are so wanted. You are so loved. Happy 1st Birthday.

All of my love. Today & Always.
Mama

Updates on my sweet babies!

Updates on Baby Bee:

How far along are you? 12 weeks, 2 days
When is your due date? January 15, 2011

Do you have any morning sickness? Yes, I still have terrible morning sickness. I tried Phenergan and it didn't help, so I am now on Zofran. It helps to take the edge off and it keeps me from throwing up (usually). I'm still not feeling great, but hopefully soon.

Do you think you are having a boy or a girl? I feel like it's a boy

Do you have a name picked out? Not even close. I need some ideas! :)

How much weight have you gained? I haven't gained any pregnancy weight. I gained weight when I quit working out and counting calories. I'm up 4 lbs since I took the pregnancy test.

Have you felt the baby move? Not yet.


Updates on Sweet Cheeks:

Sweet Cheeks is WALKING! He rarely crawls anymore. He is trying to run now, but that usually results in him crashing to the ground. Then getting back up, and trying again! We are planning his first birthday party. SC turns 1 on the 22nd of this month. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around having a one year old, but I am so excited to watch him grow. He currently has his 2nd ear infection in as many months so he's been a little out of sorts. Tomorrow we will try a new medicine and hopefully he will be feeling better soon.

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Well, that's what we have been up to. I've been baking a baby and chasing a walking kiddo. :) Life is getting very, very busy... and more amazing by the day!

Letters to myself.

Dear Brandi (age 5):

Look at the blond girl sitting next to you. The one with pig tails and rainbow colored sandals. She's going to become family to you. Even though you will lose touch down the road, she is shaping who you are. You will not become who you are meant to be without her. You will be there with her as she starts dating her future husband, and you will stand next to her at her wedding. Trust her. And tell her when she hurts you.

Dear Brandi (age 12):

Jr High. This is a tough year. Know that everyone is feeling as insecure as you. You are pretty. You are good enough. You are smart. Embrace your awkward laugh and curly hair.

He does not matter. He is only trying to tear you down because it makes him feel more like a man. His actions do not determine your self worth. You will always remember those moments, but they don't have to control you. Not every man acts that way. It's ok to forgive. It's ok to remember. It's not ok to carry this fear with you into other relationships.

Dear Brandi (age 18):

Senior year of High School! All you want to do is "get out of this town!". You want to break free and see the world and experience everything. You are not ready. Stick around that sleepy little town for awhile longer. Spend as much time as you can with your friends. Drive around town with the windows down, and the music up, as often as you can. Soon you won't know anyone there and won't have a reason to go back. But you'll miss it.

The prom dress is a great idea. It's beautiful and you won't regret it when you look back on pictures later. The prom date was a good choice too. He will move on, and so will you, but you will remain friends.

Cherish every moment with your mom. You do not have much more time to enjoy her before her accident.

Wear a bikini as much as possible. After 2 back-to-back pregnancies you may never wear a bikini again. Enjoy it now! Embrace your youth. 

Dear Brandi (age 19):

He's not worth it. Let him fly. It's not about you. Nothing you can do will change the situation. It is easier to make a clean break, and to move on. He was only in your life for a season. He's not "the one". Your heart will be broken, and you will cry when it doesn't work out. It's ok to be sad. Someone is going to tell you the phrase "Truth and time tell all". Carry this with you. Its a constant reminder that everything will be revealed in time. Be patient. Mend your heart. Move on.

You are about to meet someone who will make your toes tingle.

Your mom will survive. She will make it. But she won't be the same. Do everything you can for her. Be there. Tell her you love her. Recovery will be a long road for her and she needs you. She will be able to walk again (though the DRs are unsure). Her brain stem injury will take over and change everything.

Continue to wear the bikini as much as possible.

Dear Brandi (age 21):

Yes. He's the one. You've been together long enough now that you know this is something special. He's your Prince Charming on a white horse. He will save you from yourself more often than you can imagine. He will step up to the plate and he will make a great husband. It's ok if everyone else thinks you are too young to have that ring on your finger. You know that this real. You know that he's amazing. Plan the wedding. Buy the dress. Mail the save the dates. You are making the right choice.

Don't buy the house. You will be stuck in a bad investment when the economy crashes. Rent for awhile. Save the money.

Dear Brandi (age 24):

You are about to be a mom. It's ok if you are nervous. It's ok to feel like you are not as prepared as you "should" be. You will be ok. The baby will be ok. Your life will be very different once he arrives. Right now you are thinking about all of the things you want to teach your children, and all of the things you want to do for them. You daydream and imagine what this baby in your belly will be like. Blond or Brown hair? Blue or Brown eyes? Tall or short? He's perfect. You have never known a love as true as the one you are about to know for your child. You will become a mama bear, and wear that badge with honor.

Try not to lose who you are when the baby arrives. You are still a wife, a woman, and a friend. It will be hard but make time for yourself.

Oh, and put that pizza down. Really. You'll be so glad you did.

Dear Brandi (age 26):

Life is good. Life is full of music, laughter, and love. That baby? He's almost a year old. He will be just shy of 18 months when the new baby arrives. 2 kids in less than a year and a half and a husband who offers unconditional love daily. You are very blessed and very loved. (And super busy!) Cherish those slobbery baby kisses. Cherish those first steps. Cherish the man who works hard to take such good care of you. Cherish the little one who will be in your arms soon. Life is too short not to cherish every moment.

To join in, please go HERE!

Winner! Winner! Winner! Part 2.

Since the last winner never claimed her prize, I had a "re-draw" this morning.

Congrats, Samantha!! (Sink or Swim) Send me an email and we'll work out the details. LilsBas@gmail.com



If you didn't win, you still have another chance! Head on over to The Crunchy Baby and enter again! I know you love FREE, so what are you waiting for?

xoxo

A new cuddly blanket. & A new friend.

Y'all. I have been working with the sweetest blonde designer. I asked her if she thought she could make a blanket for Sweet Cheeks.... And, well, a couple of months later, here were are.

This blanket is amazing! It is so soft, and cuddly. Easy to wash. (A must!). Cool in this Midwest heat. And FUN!

Plus, I made a new friend in the design process. Meet Coconut Robot. She makes the most adorable baby items. I'm already eyeing the little boots for baby #2. She is great to work with, sweet as honey, and very creative. If you want something, she can make it happen. Right now she's working on Sweet Cheeks 1st birthday attire. And trust me, it's going to be dynamite. She is my new "go-to" lady for anything I need custom made.

To hear more about how the blanket came to be, (Or to order one! ) check out her BLOG.

I'm a McFatty drop-out.

Winner! Winner! Winner!

Congrats to Britt! You've won The Green Bird giveaway!

Please contact me within 24 hours to claim your prize... LilsBas@gmail.com

There's still good news for those of you who didn't win... If you would like to place an order with The green bird, just mention that you are a "Life with Sweet Cheeks" reader in the comments section of the order form and recieve FREE shipping on your purchase!

Last Chance!!

Today is your last day to enter the GIVEAWAY! :)

I know you love free stuff, so check it out!

Guest Blog: The Crunchy Baby

Welcome Jenny from The Crunchy Baby! Jenny is an Eco-friendly, Whole foods shopping mama to the very handsome Lucas. She struggled to conceive with PCOS for awhile, but finally got pregnant last year! Lucas is now 9 months old and cute as can be. She is also an Etsy shop owner. Stop by and visit her shop... she has some amazing items! **P.S. Don't forget about the giveaway that ends TOMORROW!**

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When Brandi first asked me to guest blog, tons of ideas ran through my head. But nothing I stopped on was quite what I was looking for. The realizations that come with being a mother? Old and tired. Blogs about breastfeeding versus formula feeding? Been there, done that. You get the picture.
But then I landed upon something that I am constantly thinking about and struggling with. FOOD. If you read my blog you know that I’ve been struggling so much lately with this. Do I eat dairy? Give up gluten? Give up animal products? What do I feel my son? Do I want to live on just vegetables alone? More importantly, CAN I stick a vegan, mostly raw diet for long? (The answer to that one is no, not for more than a couple days, so really what good does it do me?)

Yup, something that simple. FOOD. Is it the enemy or is it our ticket to health?

For so long I wasn’t sure.

I wasn’t always fat. I actually used to be the “tiny one” among my group of friends. I still am if you go by height. But weight? Ha. That’s another story. Even during my pregnancy I didn’t feel fat until the very end. I gained weight like I was supposed to (and was all belly) up until around my 3rd trimester when all of a sudden my body packed on those pounds. I couldn’t even blame it on the baby. At 38 weeks I delivered a 4.5 lb little boy.

Yet here I am, 9 months later, and still about 40 lbs over the weight I should be and 30 lbs over my pre pregnancy weight. The saddest part? With the exception of a few random shots when he was first born (in which it’s okay to look fat and ugly, I guess?) I have absolutely ZERO photos of my son and me together. Heartbreaking.

In the past (when I thought I was overweight, ha!) I tried a variety of diets. Which is funny because I am the first to say, “diets don’t work” and “you should just eat healthy and make a lifestyle change”. But what the hell does that mean?

I thought I accomplished that “lifestyle change” when I learned more about whole foods and organic foods over the past few years. (Yeah, I am that girl… “eat organic!!!”) But I recently came to the realization that while eating as much organic food as you can is great, I’m not doing myself any favors by the constant cheating. A little here and a little there adds up. And I don’t just mean eating something that isn’t organic, because, let’s be real, it’s very hard to do that 100% of the time and I don’t think we absolutely need to. But eating fried foods, processed/white carbs, etc. was easily sneaking into my diet as well.

Take ‘Qdoba Tuesday’. My husband and I, for the past year or so, have been eating Qdoba every Tuesday night because you get double points on your card on Tuesdays and end up with a lot of free meals. But are they free? What price was I paying for them? And telling myself, “well at least it’s not McDonald’s” wasn’t helping either. Let’s take a look at my beloved Qdoba burrito, shall we?

-Monster size white flour tortilla

-white rice (with God knows what added to flavor it)

-grilled non organic chicken (what seasonings are on that? What kind of oil?)

-non organic beans, possibly coming from a can containing BPA

-salsas which include things like non organic tomatoes and also corn which is not only not organic, but almost definitely genetically modified

-non organic cheese (would you like some added hormones with your burrito?)


There it is. My “healthy” eating out.

Really? REALLY? What was I thinking?

I could say I knew it all along, but it’s really sunk in since I began reading Jillian Michaels’ book, Master Your Metabolism. (I know, I don’t like the gimmick of it either and though “what the hell does she know about proper nutrition”after watching what they push on The Biggest Loser. But really, she gets it. She’s looked at the research. She believes that all the crap in our food is hurting us). The “diet” is really quite simple. Get rid of all the crap we eat and then eat real, whole, organic whenever possible (esp meat and dairy) foods. Everything else is totally effing with our hormones. Two things (among MANY diseases and issues) that can happen from having your hormones out of whack? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Auto Immune Diseases. Guess who has both?

So how about I start being honest with myself? The $200 trip to Whole Foods purchasing a cart full of organic foods does nothing while rotting in my fridge while I go out to eat at Qdoba and other various ways still continuing to eat. I will admit it, I threw away about $20 worth of organic chicken a couple weeks ago because we didn’t get around to making it or freezing it time, most likely due to ordering in or eating out somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t think a splurge every now and then is going to kill me or make me pack these 40 lbs back on once I lose them, but multiple times a week? Not good.

The food companies have us addicted to things like trans fats, MSG, high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners (oh yeah, I am a recovering Diet Coke addict – about 6 years clean) and other artificial chemical additives and colors. We have to say no! We have to realize that it’s not the extra fat in an avocado that’s hurting us, but the fake foods and fake crap added to foods with think are healthy. Foods that shouldn’t even be considered food anymore. We’ve been so fooled.

I used to be really jealous of those girls who stayed naturally skinny while stuffing their face full of complete junk (I won’t lie, hearing that ‘pop’ of a can of Diet Coke opening makes my mouth water most times and walking past Cheetos at Target is akin to some sick form of torture) and okay, and maybe I still am a little jealous of their perfect looking bodies, but maybe I should be thankful I have a body that forces me to eat healthy. Maybe my son will grow up without all of these chemical in his body and avoid disease. Maybe in the long run I will be better off because I stopped putting junk in my body and started treating it right? And I don’t mean buying my organic veggies and then stopping at Qdoba on the way home for dinner.

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Guest Blog: Mrs Chandler

Welcome, Mrs Chandler from Charmingly Chandler! Mrs Chandler is a military wife and mama to a pretty little girl named Sophia. She's a stay at home mom who recently started a weight loss journey. (Check it out every Monday) Today she's going to talk about that juggling act we call motherhood.

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Women. Mothers. Sisters. Daughters.


We manage to be a bigger enemy to ourselves than other are to us. We feel like we never measure up fully. We aren't funny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, multi-taskable enough. I haven't done the research, but I think it's safe to say that we buy more self-help books than guys. We want to be better cooks, better girlfriends, better friends, better at work....and we stress about it. We dwell on it. We obsess about it. Once we become mothers all of this own-worst-enemy business gets about a trillion times worse. We are then responsible for a whole new life. We have a billion new things that we have to measure up on. And with all the Mommy Judgement out there, it is NO shocker that we feel the need to balance perfection.

I'd like to brag about how I'm above it, how I can't be bothered with such pettiness as trying to achieve woman perfection. But I am in the thick of it. I am a constant thread of thoughts. For every judgment women pass on each other there's about 10 more that a woman judges herself on. Things we don't even take note of on each other.

The things that keep me from buying out the entire self-help section of the local book store? My friends. The friends that don't have to listen, but do. The friends that openly share their war stories. The ones that don't brag about the three course meal they made for their family, while mentioning in an after-thought how they polished the silver too. It comes down to surrounding yourself with good people. Not the haters, the braggers, the negative Nancy's. I do my best to avoid the people that have a herds of drama llamas follow them everywhere they go (llamas are herds right? I don't want to google...so just go with it). It was a hard lesson to learn, but the constant internal dialog that tells me I'm not measuring up is so much worse when the people to my left and right are talking trash about the girl who just can't keep up with life.

Am I ever going to be able to balance the housework, the play time, the social life, the errands, the cooking, the hobbies, and raising children the way I imagine Mrs. Perfect SAHM/HW does? Ha! Am I always going to think 'If there were just 3 more hours today, I'd be able to get it all done'? Probably. But am I working hard to be a better cheerleader for myself and less of an enemy? ABSO-Freaking-LUTELY.

Guest Blog: The Mother

Welcome, The Mother from Little Boy Green! TM is an Eco-friendly, cloth diapering, happily married, mom to Little Boy Green. (LBG) Here's her journey into the world of cloth diapers...

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Blindly Making the Leap!

The years leading up to being pregnant and the whole time I was growing rounder by the minute I was 100% against cloth diapers. I liked the idea of them. They come in all sorts of cute varieties, too. I just couldn’t get past the poop. Luckily for me The Father of my sweet little boy was against them, too. There was no discussion needed… just the way I like things.


Small side note: TF works an hour away and is away from the house more than he is here. Not to mention he occasionally has to travel.

Ok, back to the point. There would be days when we’d be low on diapers and I didn’t want to take LBG out to buy more. I’d wait all day for TF to come home and instead of cooking dinner, showering, or even getting a few minutes of sleep; I’d be in the car headed to Target to buy diapers.

With the price of formula quickly adding up and the beau coup bucks we spend in gas for TF to go to work we needed to think of a way to cut back some expenses. Not to mention we realized how many diapers were ending up in the landfill from our son alone!

I slowly warmed up to the idea of trying cloth and I made the decision that if I could convince TF that we should give it a go. I’d get over the last of my reservations and just go with it. I’d been visiting various message boards and websites on the subject and came across a great link that I knew would convince him. You can try it out here.

I can’t remember the exact numbers for us, but it came out to something like we’d spend a little over 2 arms and 3 legs if we used disposable diapers until LBG was 2. I wish I’d written everything down. Whatever the figures were, TF was sold. He wanted me to look into buy a few diapers, but didn’t want to spend too much money.

As luck would have it, someone was selling her entire diaper stash! We negotiated a great price and I waltzed away with a huge smile on my face! In about 15 minutes, I’d bought enough diapers to last us until LBG is using the potty full time.

Fast forward to now. LBG has had a fluffy bum for 5 months and we haven’t looked back! Not even once! TF has even tried to convince friends and co-workers that cloth is the way to go. We’ve even decided that kidlet number 2 will be in cloth from the get-go. Instead of making a quick run to the store for diapers or wipes (those are cloth now, too!) I get to spend the evening relaxing while folding a few prefolds and stuffing a pocket or two.

If you are wondering how the numbers have added up here is the run down:

In 5 months, we’ve spent a total of $12 in detergent because we make our own and our water bill has only increased by $5 per month. We’ve spent a total of $200 in diaper purchases and are trying to sell a few of the originals and bought a few more of our favorites.


Not a bad deal, is it?

Guest Blog: Mrs M

Welcome Mrs. M from Kibble 'n Dribble! Mrs M is an animal lover, soon-to-be mom of 2 under 2. She's close (just a few more months!) to having 2 gorgeous little girls. She also opens her door to 3 dogs and a cat. (rescue animals!) Sit back and relax as Mrs M talks about the wild ride of having 2 children under the age of 2.

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I get asked frequently about what it is like to be pregnant and be the mother of an infant. I will offer this pearl of wisdom: It isn’t easy. Being a parent is not an easy job. Great benefits, sure, but you’re on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and quite frankly, the boss doesn’t cut any slack for sick days. And especially not for fatigue or, God-forbid, you want to work on the nursery for the other. But, with that said, it isn’t always hard either.
I was petrified when I found out I was pregnant again so quickly after the first. I mean it: outright, deer-in-headlights shock and terror. This quickly gave way to excitement, awe, and misty-eyed joy, but those first days of depression were still there. I will admit it. I didn’t think we could do it. I didn’t think I could do it, physically or emotionally. My hyperemesis didn’t help me. I felt I was spending these precious first months with my daughter hugging my toilet. I thought our life was over, and we had already failed before we even got to try.

I reached out to every person I knew that had ever been in my situation. I even reached out to people I didn’t know. I needed to know Cat wouldn’t grow up with a complex. I needed to know I would still have time to bond with my husband. I needed to be reassured that it would be okay, that we would all be okay.

A good support system helped me realize the following. My children will grow up loved. My husband will grow old with me and know he is loved. I can love D, and Cat, and Minnie. There is not a set time line for reproduction that guarantees or denies love. That’s an inside job. I have a lot of love to give. As a wife and a mother, that is the most important thing I needed to know and realize to be able to move on with my pregnancy with my head up. That is the number one piece of advice I will give any second time mother while she struggles in her head with how she will do it all.

Being at peace with my pregnancy doesn’t mean other people don’t pass judgment. They do so especially when you are a young mother with your infant in tow and you happen to forget your wedding rings at home. I see their eyes go from my wee one, to my bump, to my ring ringer. I see them whisper to their friends. Some will even ask me how old Cat is under the guise of innocent curiosity. Unlike when I was pregnant with my first, though, they do not ask how far along I am. I could, after all, very well just be overweight from the first one. Even people I know wonder if I am capable of handling a second child, they wonder if the baby was planned, and they do ask personal details about the circumstances behind the second child’s conception. But I don’t let this bother me.

I cannot be bothered by other people’s judgments, because I have already judged myself. I am, at times, overwhelmed with “mommy guilt.” I want to cry when I even think of spending less time with Cat. I sometimes feel like I am cheating on her. I feel enormous guilt when I shop for new baby furniture and when I plan out the Minnie’s nursery. I get upset when I want to do things I didn’t do with Cat, such as maternity pictures. I have to remind myself, every step of the way, that I can love two babies just as much as I love one.

I’m also just not as excited, which does feed into the guilt. The anticipation for the second does not compare to the first, especially because it feels like I just did this. Like, last year. I don’t follow the baby book day to day wondering what new body part is forming. I don’t know the exact fruit comparison stage my baby is at now. I’m not as Gun-ho about decorating the nursery. And I’m not really excited about the newborn phase all over again so soon, even though I get misty eyed when I hear newborn baby cries. But this is perfectly normal. Every little kick makes me love her more and I know I will overflow with gushy, mama love when she arrives in the world. The pregnancy is flying by, even though I really just want time to slow down as every day that passes Cat is a day older. And getting closer, and closer to not being my little, tiny baby anymore.

Remember how I said it wasn’t always hard? It’s not. I promise. Now that I have stopped vomiting every day, I usually hardly even feel pregnant. There is nothing that I can’t do with Cat due to my pregnancy. I still take her everywhere with me, and provide her all the experiences that I have dreamed of offering her as an infant. If anything, I have thrown myself more into these early months, as I know this is the only time I will have with just her. Although, tiny sweet kicks that grow stronger every day remind me that there is three of us partaking in all of our activities.

I am very fortunate in that I am able to be a stay at home mother and soak up my time with her. I’m also lucky that she is a fantastic sleeper, and enables me to have 8 hours of sleep a night. I have a lot of family around me to provide support and babysitters. Really, we are in an ideal situation to have two children under the age of two.

The truth is, it’s less the physical requirements that make being pregnant while mothering an infant difficult. It’s the mental battle that drains you at times. Every time I catch myself feeling anxious about my ability (or even, in moments of depression, my desire) to mother two children, I remind myself of how sweet my daughter is. How when I look at her smiling up at me and I just want to live in that moment forever. I think of when she takes a tumble and sits on the floor with a tear streaked face with her arms reaching up to me, whining “ma, ma, ma,” because my arms are a place of comfort for her. I catch myself watching my husband toss her up in the air while she grins and laughs with her drool soaked fingers in her mouth. I see and I feel the love, the sweetest love there is, every single day. And then I think, in every moment I catch my breath in awe of my daughter, that soon I will have two of them. Double the love, double the laughs, double the smiles, and double the moments that take my breath away.

Yes, being a mother is hard, whether its one or two or three, but it’s also the easiest and most natural job in the world. It’s a paradox that only a mother could love.

And I wouldn’t want things any other way.

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Guest Blog: Shanna

Welcome Shanna, From Team Autry! Shanna is a newly wed and mom to the very handsome Dillion. Shanna is exploring her love for the culinary arts while raising a 1 year old. All while living on a budget!

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Hello Ladies! My name is Shanna and I can be found over at Team Autry. I was really excited when Mrs. B asked me to me a guest blogger on Life with Sweet Cheeks. I met her quite some time ago on The Bump.

I’m a 20-something mama to a ONE year old and a self-proclaimed, full time working, domestic goddess to boot. Or so I would like to say. Oh, and I am about to begin Culinary school. That’s a lot going on.


So, today I will bring you on a cooking journey with me. I want to show you how simple it can be to prepare a delicious meal from start to finish without pulling out your hair.


Here are some key points that I am going to cover today.


 Look at the sales flier. My local grocery store (Winn-Dixie) puts out their weekly fliers on Wednesdays. I take 5 minutes to look it over, see what is on sale and plan accordingly.


Plan a menu. You can do this by the week or by every 2 weeks. I plan our menu for 2 weeks at a time. Give yourself a day or two for eating out. Be realistic.


Dust off your Crock pot.

Sales Fliers/Store Ads – I signed up for a rewards card through Winn-Dixie. Kroger and other grocery store chains offer rewards cards as well. With that rewards card I score TONS of deals such as BOGO, 10 for $10, and Locked-in Low Prices. I plan my menu according to what is on sale. Each shopping trip I usually save over $35!!

Plan a Menu – This may sound like a daunting task but, it has made our life so much easier. I write out 14 meals (2 weeks worth of dinners) and I set aside a few days for eating out. I have found that planning a menu and grocery shopping with a menu and list helps me focus on what we NEED and not want. This also saves the panicky feeling that comes with having NO clue what is for dinner at the end of the day.

Dust off your Crock pot – I am amazed at what my Crock pot could do! For the longest time I thought crock pots were only used for soups and potlucks. Not so much. I have used my beloved for ribs, chicken, pot roast, pork tenderloin..you name it. Use that Crock pot, ladies!! It’s my Ninja weapon.

I have found that these simple three steps have saved my sanity..and our wallet.

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Guest Blog: Holls

Welcome Holls from Happily Ever After... My Way! Holls is a trendy newly wed with a beautiful baby girl named Lily. Holls is a stay at home mom to her daughter and step-son. Holls is going to talk about how being  a mom isn't always rainbows and sunshine. (Isn't that the truth!) Enjoy! :)

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The road to loving motherhood

Nobody told me that after giving birth my heart wouldn't melt, and my belly would look like a deflated beach ball. From everyone woman I knew that had given birth I heard " I feel so in love" " I couldn't feel happier, this is the most amazing day of my life" and " I feel so complete"
I felt like poo. I spiked a fever while I was pushing and after words shook so much I could have started my own earthquake. I was also sweating. Like golf ball sized beads of sweat coming off of my like a freakin' waterfall- I was soaked. I was also disappointed... but thought to myself. It's just the fever. You'll feel it soon.

Well "soon" is subjective. In my case "soon" was three months later. Not that I didn't love my baby, of course I did. However, I was confused, my boobs constantly dripping, I needed to pump every three hours and time it just perfectly with her sleep schedule. I needed to make sure my boobs were covered at all times or else I would need to clean up the mess of milk that would be everywhere. I needed to make sure my humongous pads were with in arms reach of my shower so I wouldn't get blood all over, thus making a mess I had to clean up. I needed a drink. I needed to make sure the swaddle was on, but it wouldn't stay on, and I hadn't figured out that a swaddle blanket just plain sucks and the Velcro ones work much better, I needed to do and finish and think so many things I didn't have time to love being a mom. The first three months were a blur of so many things, I felt like a robot trying so desperately to keep the smile on so no one thought I was a freak for not loving my new found destiny.

Then the new year came. Coincidentally this was when my baby girl turned three months. THIS was when I got into a routine. I could see her start to grow and learn, this is when I loved being a mom. Time slowed down that month, I got to breath. My girl is almost 7 months old now and when I look back on the first 3 months of her life I feel like I was a different person. I WAS a different person I was scared and confused and had no clue what I was doing. Now I feel like a mom, I am no longer a scared girl who just gave birth. I am a mom and I love it :)

Giveaway!!!!!!!

We believe in changing the world with your dollar, so spend wisely!

We believe in organic products made not in a factory, but by a real person. We believe every baby should have natural, handmade, and organic blankets, burp cloths, loveys, and more!

We are currently using only 100% organic fabrics. Fabrics are dyed using organic dye or left natural in color.

All of our fabrics are pre-shrunk/pre-washed in Charlie's Soap laundry detergent, an eco friendly and baby friendly detergent.

The Green Bird is an Etsy shop owned by Jenny at The Crunchy Baby. Her fabrics are GORGEOUS and incredibly soft. She's offering one of my readers a chance to win a custom lovey. If you are unfamiliar, a lovey is a small blanket for the baby to cuddle and "love" on.

The best part? The winner picks their favorite fabric!

To enter: (please make separate comment for each entry!)

1. Visit The Green Bird and tell me what your favorite item is.

2. Follow The Green Bird blog.

3. Become a fan of  The Green Bird Facebook page.

4. Follow me on Twitter.

5. Blog or Tweet about this giveaway and link back here.

Good Luck!

Giveaway will end on June 9.

Winner announced June 10!

I'm leaving on a jet plane!

This week we are headed to the beach! We are going to visit Mr B's family and to spend some time in the sun. Since I will be away from the Internet for awhile, I have lined up some FABULOUS guest bloggers. I am lucky enough to call these amazing women my friends. So, leave them some love. Visit their home blogs. & Try not to have too much fun without me. :)

xoxo.

McFatty Monday. Stupid plateau.

Well, folks, I've hit a plateau.

I weigh the same this morning as I did LAST Monday morning. I've been working out, and eating healthy. I worked out more than normal, actually. (If you haven't tried The Biggest Loser: Boot camp you should! It's amazing.)

This is the part of weight loss where it gets frustrating. It's easy to stay motivated when the numbers on the scale are going down. But, when they stay the same it's hard to keep going with the same momentum.

I'm going to keep going. I'm going to push through this week and cross my fingers for some results next Monday. Hopefully.

This is us.... Then. (part 1)

Sweet Cheeks,

There are little things about our life now that I would like you to know about when you are older. This is one of those letters that I am writing now in hopes that when you are 18 or 20 you will sit down with a hot cup of coffee and read.  This is a little note explaining to you what our life is like now. In 2010. In 17 years this will seem like the stone age to you.

Right now we have 3 cats and 2 dogs.

Jasmine - Our mini kitty. She's 4lbs and full grown. She's solid white with ice blue eyes. She's your favorite one to chase around. (Probably because she doesn't run and hide or hiss when she sees you coming) She lets you pull her tail and bite her stomach.

Lilly - Our Russian blue kitty. She actually looked blue when she was a kitten but now she's more of a soft gray. She was rescued one fall day out of a tree. Her owner had tried to drown her in a pond but she got away. Her will to live was stronger than his will to drown her. She's a survivor. She hates new people and is VERY protective of those she loves. (Which is pretty much just the 3 of us) Lils stays far away from you when you are moving around.

Sasha - Our solid black kitty with white paws. Sasha is a lover. He loves to wrestle with you and he loves to sit next to you as you play. Sasha is friendly with you so you are not as interested in chasing or abusing him. He's your buddy.

Lina & Sophie - Our puggle dogs. (Half beagle, Half pug) They were both rescue dogs. I don't know their history. I do know that they love to lick you to pieces. They love to come right up to you and smother you in slobber. You adore them. You giggle as they lick you and you try your best to get to them as often as possible.

I stay at home with you during the day. You spend the day with me or Granny and Papa Joe. They both adore you and LOVE having you come and visit.

Daddy works as a nurse 3 days a week. He's going back to school this September to advance in his career.

We have just started trying to Eat Clean. By the time you read this Clean Eating with either be something very normal that a lot of people do, or it will be a dumb fad diet from the past. I hope it's the former.

We are about to go on our first beach vacation with you! In 3 weeks we leave for Myrtle Beach in S Carolina. I know that you are going to love it. You are, in every sense of the words, my water baby.

Your favorite time of the day is bath time. You love to splash, drink the water, crawl, dunk your head, and try to stand.

This is your room:

I know you have some pink things in there, and I know it's not decorated yet... I'm working on it.. (I thought you were a GIRL!)

This is your favorite blanket:

This is the living room, where we spend most of our time...

... to be continued...

Happy Maaaamamamaaaaaama day!

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

Today is my first Mothers day. I feel as though I should be the one honoring Sweet Cheeks instead of the other way around. I know he isn't aware that today is Mother's day but I did get some special slobbery kisses (with some biting) Soon enough he will know. To him, I am "Maaaammamammaaaaaamama". I am looking forward to many macaroni necklaces and finger painted pictures in the years to come!

____________________________________________________________________________

Sweet Cheeks,

THANK YOU for being such a fantastic, sweet boy. Given the choice, knowing then what I know now, I would have chosen you to be my baby with no regrets. It is the blessing and honor of my life. There are no limits to my love for you. I enjoy being your Mamaaaamama so much more than I ever could have anticipated. I am so lucky to get to spend my first Mothers Day with my first baby.

____________________________________________________________________________

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan


The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. - Kin Hubbard
 

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren
 
One of the very few reasons I had any respect for my mother when I was thirteen was because she would reach into the sink with her bare hands - bare hands - and pick up that lethal gunk and drop it into the garbage. To top that, I saw her reach into the wet garbage bag and fish around in there looking for a lost teaspoon. Bare hands - a kind of mad courage. ~Robert Fulghum


Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey

How I met your father (part 3)

That was the phone call that changed everything. I knew this was it. I fell into every cliche. He "completed" me. He was my other half. He was the cheese to my macaroni. Love at first sight? Not exactly, more like second glance.

That's pretty intense stuff, right? So I did what everyone in my situation would do (no, probably not) and I went on a date with his arch nemesis. (But not because Mr B didn't like him. I just wanted to get dating out of my system.) Mr B terrified me. I was afraid of him because I knew that once I committed to him and that relationship it was the one. I was 19. And a hostess at Fridays! I was not ready for Mr B. He came out of no where, swept me off of my feet (once he kicked that girlfriend to the  curb), and completely rocked my world. Lord have mercy, Mr B was (& still is!) incredible.

I just wasn't ready for him.

Yes, I know. This is the part of the story where it becomes a walking contradiction. In the beginning, I called him. I pursued him. Then when the tables were turned and he pursued me, I ran. I played games. I have no excuses for the way I acted.

I went on one date with his nemesis, S. I missed Mr B like crazy the whole time. I wanted to be out with him. I wanted to be laughing at Mr B's lame jokes instead of talking to S. I missed Mr B more than I thought I should of at that point. We weren't even officially "together" and I missed him? I was texting Mr B while I was out with S.

On my way home I stopped by Mr B's house. That's the night we became a couple. That's the night I knew I was about to step on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime. It's also the night I knew I was in love with him. But more on that later, k?

How I met your father (part 2)

"You're nothing short of my everything." -Ralph Block

In walked Mr B. All 6 foot 4 inches of him. He's the kind of guy that you notice when he enters a room. Probably because he's so tall he almost brushes the top of the doorway. But, maybe, just maybe, it's also because he has this aura about him that draws others in. He's comfortable in his own skin, he's confident with his own ideas, and he isn't afraid to just be who he is.

When Mr B walked in, I noticed. I introduced myself. I batted my eyelashes. I tried to make small talk. He was just.not.interested. to put it lightly. At the time I thought it was because he was an arrogant jerk. (mature, right?) I found out many months later that it was because he had a girlfriend. (now I think it is kind of awesome that he ignored me)

That night I went home and called everyone who was at A's house with me in an effort to track down Mr B's phone number. I think I called 4 or 5 people before someone gave in and told me his phone number. I had never been the kind of girl to call the boy first. Like, ever. But what they don't tell you is that when you find your soul mate it is nearly impossible to let them just walk out your life. So, I took charge. I called him.

It went something like this...

Ring, Ring.

Uh, hello?

Hi. I don't know if you remember me or not but we met the other night at A's house?....

(long pause........)

We did? (pause) Oh, wait. OK, I think I remember you. The girl in the pink sweatshirt.

Yeah (nervous giggle) That was me.

How I met your father (part 1)

I was 19. I was working as a hostess at TGI Friday's a few nights a week. I spent the rest of my time window shopping (I was a hostess, remember? $3.50/hr), hanging out at friends houses, or talking on the phone. I was also going to school, but it was a career path I hated from day 1 and I never pursued it. So, we will leave that part out of the story. Nothing significant happened in regards to school. I was your average not-a-care-the-world 19 year old.

Oh, and I had a boyfriend. He was all wrong for me, and we both knew it. But, we drug the relationship out regardless until one day things came to an end.

I had realized that things were not going to work with Boyfriend. No more chances. Sometimes thing are just not meant to be.I was talking to a friend on the phone about it (crying) and she suggested that we all meet up at our friend A's house. It was either that, or mope around the house eating ice cream while wearing a sweat shirt that was 2 sizes too big. So, I went to A's house.

This is where I should probably mention that I was wearing a sweatshirt (one that fit at least), a pony tail, and no make up. I had no intentions of meeting my soul mate there. If I had known, I probably would have at least showered. 

When I arrived at A's house (fashionably late, of course) it was the normal group of friends. A handful of close girlfriends and a few guy friends mixed in. There was A LOT of laughing, teasing, and re-telling long forgotten stories among friends. I hope that everyone gets to experience nights like that. They are the ones that turn friends into family. Those are the nights that are never forgotten.

A couple of hours later, Mr B walks in. Tall. Dark hair. White shirt. Infectious laugh. & a girlfriend.

The one about the elephant.

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

How do you get down to your goal weight?

One bite at a time.

I have made a point to try new things when it comes to exercising. One day we went to the nature trails and walked 3 miles. Yesterday I jogged a mile and lifted weights. I still do pilates 1-2 days a week. Oh, and I bought a jump rope. Have you tried jump roping as an adult? MUCH, much harder than it used to be. After 5 mins I was ready to yell "Mercy!"

I'm not sure how much weight I lost last week. My guess is 3-4 lbs. I worked out hard, y'all! My scale broke and I didn't get around to buying a new one until Saturday. The new scale weighs me less than the old scale, so Im not sure if it's the scale or if I really lost a gazillion lbs.

My goals are to continue working out hard 4-5 days a week. To push myself out of my comfort zone. I'm not just getting back in my pre-preg skinny jeans, Im getting into a smaller pair. I've got the fire in my belly and it's going to happen. Stay tuned!

P.s. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter! I'd love to be your Tweetie friend. <3 Link on the left.

May I have your attention please?

Look to your left.

I have a new Twitter page.

Awesome, right?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sunday Funday

Telephone Remake @ Yahoo! Video

Have a great Sunday... Here's a laugh for you. :)

A day in the life of...

What does a normal day with Sweet Cheeks look like? Well, lots of playing. Lots of kisses. Lots of naps.

**********

5:30 - SC wakes up. Usually wants a bottle. Sometimes oatmeal. Sometimes a jar of Beechnut food.

Then....play. Lick the floor. Pull the dogs' hair. Cry. Sing. Dance. Crawl under the end table. Throw up in daddy's shoe. (I hide mine) Read. Bite toes.

7:30-9:30 - Nap time. & snack.

Go for a walk outside. Poop. Bang spoon on floor. Squeal. Dance. Walk around end tables 98527 times. Pull my hair. Jump. Scream. Lick the floors again. Spit up on floor and roll in it. Chew dog toy. Chase the cat until she hisses. Look outside. Stick random things in mouth. (Like, cat food or cat hair...)

11:00 - Lunch time

11:30 - 1:30 nap & snack

Watch TV. Pull all toys out of toy box and scatter as far as possible. Turn on every noise making toy. Cry. Scream. Kick. Bite. Lick the couch. Lick the dog. Bite the cat. Crawl. Lay flat on back and kick as hard as possible. Eat stuffed horse. Pull out hair. (Mine, his, cats, dogs, or Mr Bs) Knock over trash can. Crawl. Walk around sofa and recliner. Yell. Turn on noisy toys again. Fall over, hit head, cry. Dance. Sing. Read.

4:30-5:30 Get ready for bed - Eat, Bath, Change, Put on night diaper, Bottle...... Sleep.

Dishes. Laundry. Sweep. Mop. Fold clothes. Watch a few mins of TV & Check email. Sleep. 

Repeat.

Sweet cheeks has a playlist.

Sweet cheeks is a groover and a shaker. He loves to listen to songs. He loves to clap and dance. It's a rare occasion that he is not dancing and "singing" along with the radio.

Pat Benatar - Hit me with your best shot
Blackeyed peas - Pump it
Lady Gaga
Ke$ha
Beyonce - Telephone
Will Smith - Miami
Bon Jovi
Elton John (Thanks to Mr B)
Coolio - Gangsta's paradise
Destiny's Child
Fegie - Big girls don't cry
Justin Timberlake - Sexy back
No Doubt
Queen - We are the champions

As you can see, he has terrible taste in music. And, it's all  mostly my fault.

Toesies, Blocks and Books

Wishful weds... youth job.

'I wish' .... I could go back and spend one day working at a job from my youth, and it would be from

Build a Bear!

 

Yes, I worked at Build-a-bear. I was a Party Bear. Which means, basically, that I was the one who worked the Birthday parties for the kids. I entertained them. Let them bite me. Tricked Talked their parents into buying over-priced animal clothing. At the time, I was convinced it was the worst job EVAAARRRRRR. But, now, looking back, it wasn't so bad! I would love to go back and do that job for a day.

 

Join in here.

Ten! Ten! Ten!

"I invite you to attend the party of your own life. Put on your best face. Eat clean until you gleam and shine. Be there! Dance like no one is watching & do it every day."

"Don't let one more day go by burdened by excess weight or poor health. Make this your first day to being the best you ever."

(Quotes from The Eat Clean diet workout)

I've lost TEN LBS in April. In 3 weeks. The success is definately motivating me to work harder.

Mr B has his 10 year High School reunion this August. My goal is to lose 20-30 more lbs before then. I want to be able to wear a pretty dress and feel comfortable in it. I also want to buy a new pair of pretty high heels to wear, but that has less to do with the weight loss and more to do with being a girly girl. :)


What motivates you? A new outfit? Health? Your child(ren)?

The one about that stupid child development doll.

I took a Child Development class 12 years ago (!!!!). I was 14 and a freshman in High School. I was awkward, with frizzy hair that I didn't know how to tame yet, and an addiction to lip gloss. I only took the class because I didn't want to take the other classes, either. I wanted to take this class more than I wanted to take art, which really isn't saying much. I assumed my stick figure drawings with clouds would cause me to fail, so I took Child Development despite a few "This class is so stupid!" &  "I'm never having kids!" comments.

The first day of class I learned that it is required that everyone in the class take home "the doll". Thankfully I had the older model doll which was much easier than the new fancy shmancy dolls. This doll would cry and I would need to stick a key in its back within so many seconds in order to pass. Each time it cried. I didn't have to figure out WHY it was crying, I just had to make it stop.

This doll would cry every 45 mins. For 2 days and 1 night. Cry, Key, Cry, Key, Cry, Key. I was annoyed that it cried all night. I was annoyed that it cried during theatre rehersals. I hated it. I hated taking that doll to the grocery store because people stared at me like I had a real baby. I was convinced that having a real baby would be "You know, so much easier!" because "Real babies don't cry every 45 mins! They sleep at night!".

(Insert wild rolling laughter here.)

I was right, Sweet Cheeks didn't cry every 45 mins. He cried more often. I probably would have traded him for the CD doll in the middle of a 4 day stretch with no sleep. (not really)

Oh, to be young again.

Slow and steady wins the race.

I love stepping on the scale every monday morning. I wake up and practically run to the guest room to step on the scale. I love seeing the numbers going down. I love that my pants are getting looser. AND I don't feel like I am on a diet.

This is a turning point in my life. OUR lives. The B household. I read this week that a good rule of thumb when it comes to food is, If your great-grandmother didn't eat it then you shouldn't either.

My knee is feeling much better! Mr B bought me a knee brace that I have been wearing for exercise, and the occasional painful day at home. This week I am kicking exercise into full gear!

I found a new exercise that I love. Adore. Enjoy. I liked Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, but I liked it because of the results. The actual exercise was not equal to a party on my yoga mat. Want to hear what I have been doing?

Pilates.

I have to admit, I was a huge skeptic of Pilates. I always hear celebrities and fashionistas talking about pilates. My first thought, You are skinny. Of course something like just stretching works for you. I was wrong, y'all! It is an intense workout. But I felt great the entire time. It's low impact while my knee is healing. & I didn't even check the clock to see how long was left. Instead, when it was over I thought, That's it?. The next morning I was sore so I must have done something right. I was able to do pilates twice.

Let's get to it...

The good: I lost 2 lbs! I worked out 2 days, which is all I could do last week. I'm ok with it.

The bad: I had a donut, a handful of sour patch kids, and garlic bread. (Which, really, isn't that bad.)

The goals: Pilates 3 days, Elliptical 1 day, and a long walk outside 1 day.

Baby, I'm amazed by you.

Sweet cheeks has a laugh that is infectious. He wrinkles his nose, tilts his head back, and throws his whole body into this deep belly laugh. He loves to laugh. He laughs when he is supposed to be asleep in his crib, and he's alone. He laughs when he's sitting in the shopping cart. He laughs when he sneaks up on someone and they don't know he's there. It's the kind of laugh that makes his whole body shake. I hope this is something that stays with him, as I know it's something that will always be with me.

Geez, Mom! I'm not going to laugh for the camera, ok?