Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Today I am thankful for:

A- Antiques.

B- Bon Jovi - One of my all time fave bands.

C- Cheesecake... makes any day a good day.

D- Dior lip gloss. Diet cherry coke. Daisies.

E- Electricity.

F- Family & Friends.

G- Glitter.

H- Home... With my 2 favorite boys :)& Happily ever afters.

I- Ice cream.

J- Jam.

K- Kittens. Kites.

L- Love. Laughter.

M- Mr B. Manicures.

N- New beginnings.

O- Oxiclean... Without it, my life would contain many more stains.

P- Popsicles. PINK!. Pedicures.

Q- Quiznos... Nothing better than a warm sub on a cold day!

R- Real housewives of _______. :) (Any season!)

S- Sweet cheeks... My precious baby.

T- Target.

U- Umbrellas with polka dots.

V- Violets.

W- Watermelon. Water fountains.

X- XM radio.

Y- YouTube.

Z- Zappos - Shoe shopping with free shipping! Perfection!

Love at first sight? Absolutely!

::SWOON:: I am positive Sweet cheeks needs one of these for Christmas. From Santa, of course!

Here's the site if you love them as much as I do: http://www.a-rocking-horse-to-love.com/Most_Popular_Toddler-p-1-c-15.html

Monday, November 16, 2009

All my love. All my life.

"We Weren’t born to follow
Come on and get up off your knees
When life is a bitter pill to swallow
You gotta hold on to what you believe
Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow
And that your saints and sinners bleed
We weren’t born to follow
You gotta stand up for what you believe
Bon Jovi

Dear SC,

It has been almost 4 months since you came into our lives. It seems like so long ago & just like yesterday all at the same time. You are the greatest joy in my life and I can only hope that you always feel that... From the top of your head to the ends of your toes. There is nothing that you will do in my lifetime to make me love you any less than I do now. But, Sweet cheeks, there are some things I feel I should tell you.

People will let you down. By letting people get close to you, close enough to see what's really in your heart, you take the chance on getting hurt. As much as I want to hold you close and to shelter you from the world, I know that one day someone is going to let you down. It will hurt me just as much as it will hurt you, my sweet boy. You'll find that most friendships do not last forever, and if you get truely lucky you will find one love that will last a lifetime. Those are going to be hard lessons to learn. You may be sad, or angry, or bitter. Those feelings are normal. Allow yourself to feel them for a short time and then decide to move on. It's ok to mourn the loss, but it's also important to not let it consume your life. There are so many amazing things out there to spend your life enjoying. Try not to let the negative things water down the amazing things.

There are good people out there, but they are hard to come by. When you find one, hold on tight and don't let go. Be a good person, and good people will surround you. Be a man of honesty & integrity because in the end, how you have conducted yourself will be what allows you to sleep peacefully at night.

The secret to getting through life with few scars is faith. Faith gives you hope and security. Faith will allow you to make the right decisions. Find faith in a higher power, and allow it to follow you all of your days.

I hope and also fear that you'll learn these lessons. Daddy and I will always be here for you. We are here with open arms. When you feel unsure of the world and scared of all that's around, know that my love surrounds you and your faith will guide you.

All my love. All my life.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Happy Veterans Day, y'all.

Thank you so much to all who have served - Past & Present. <3

Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world, but the soldiers don't have that problem. ~Ronald Reagan

“Without the brave efforts of all the soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines and their families, this Nation, along with our allies around the world, would not stand so boldly, shine so brightly and live so freely.” ~Lane Evans

Monday, November 9, 2009

Today I choose to be Thankful.

Today I can be discouranged by the things I do not have & have not accomplished, OR I can be thankful for the blessings I do have.

I am thankful for...

*I am thankful for a soft place to lay my head at night.
*I am thankful for the loving man who lays next to me.
*I am thankful for a healthy, happy, thriving baby.
*I am thankful for having an abundance of food in my pantry.
*I am thankful for my family.
*I am thankful for my friends.
*I am thankful for sunshine. & rain.
*I am thankful for my car. Eventhough it needs some work done. & Eventhough it will be expensive.
*I am thankful for pink daisies.
*I am thankful for unanswered prayers.
*I am thankful for hot chocolate on cold days.
*I am thankful for my furbabies.

... And the picture that inspired this post & put my life into perspective...

I do have a "crunchy" side!

I do have a "crunchy" side. But, it's usually hidden beneath my love for over-priced plastic baby items & disposible diapers.

Yesterday, I began making baby food! So far, I have spent $7 and made around 200 baby food "cubes". (The pureed food is frozen in ice cube trays) Each cube = 1oz. A 4-6 month old baby will eat apx. 2-4oz of baby food per day. That means if sweet cheeks eats 4 oz of food every day, we will have enough food for 50 days. Not only is this a much healthier option, it's also much cheaper!

We have decided to do a modified feeding schedule. The one we chose introduces a few foods at 4-6 months, and then a bunch of new foods for 6-8 months.

Here's our list:

4-6 Months:

CEREALS - Rice, Barley, Oatmeal
FRUITS - Apple, Banana, Pear
VEGGIE - Butternut Squash, Sweet Potato, Green Beans

Since I forgot to take pictures, here are a couple from the web for those who are curious.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Today is a sad day.

“How do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?”
- Calvin & Hobbes

Today is one of those days that makes you want to hold those you love a little bit closer, a little bit tighter, & a little bit longer.

Right now, I am sitting in my chair, with misty eyes, watching CNN. There has been a horrible tragedy at Ft Hood, TX today. This news causes my heart to skip a beat because that is where my brother is currently stationed. My heart goes out to those who have lost a loved one day. Thankfully, we did not lose a family member. D remained safe and sound during the shootings.

If you have an extra prayer, please say one for my brother as his base recovers from the horrible events that have just occurred.

Since the news story is still breaking, there are not a lot of details that have been released. So far we know that there were 3 shooters, 31 people have been injured and 12 have been killed.

A BIG THANK YOU to everyone in the Military, past and present, for your dedication and all that you do. You sacrifice daily for our country without giving it a second thought. You do so much that "Thank you" doesn't seem sufficient. It really is appreciated even if the appreciation is not vocalized often enough.


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Let's get down to the heart of the matter

Let's go to a place I didn't think I would ever be able to go.

Let alone on a PUBLIC Internet blog.

Post Partum Depression.

Those are the 3 scariest words I have ever had to face. Just looking at them now, all typed out, in black and white, is making me tear up. It is only now, coming out on the other side, that I feel like I can address it. I've spent the past 2 months embarrassed, ashamed and terrified to admit this to anyone. Mr B knew, as well as a few close friends and family members... But even to those who knew, I never spoke about it. Not even to Mr B.

I never wanted to be the poster child for PPD. I never wanted to have it, and once I did have it, I wanted to deny it. I tried to run & hide from it. Eventually I had to seek help and take medicine. I feel better now. I feel like the rain clouds have lifted and I can finally enjoy this adventure called motherhood.

I felt OK for the first 4-5 weeks after my son was born. I thought that meant I was "In the clear". I patted myself on the back, and thought I was one of the lucky ones. Then I hit week 5. That was the week I became a crying, hysterical, angry mess. That was the week that I realized I was scared of a 10 pound baby. That was the week that EVERYTHING Mr B did annoyed me.

I felt like I was in WAYYYY over my head. I thought I had made a mistake. I had second thoughts and doubts about being a mother. I had a raw gut-wrenching pain in my stomach. I knew something didn't "feel right"... But, in my mind it was because of the lack of sleep, the infant who cried all night, or my new stretched-out-deflated stomach. I didn't want to believe that it was PPD. I had convinced myself that I would not get this horrible monster of an illness. One day Mr B sat me down and explained in his nurse voice that this was PPD. I needed to seek help. I needed to get help for myself, and also so that I would be a better wife and mother. He never told me I was a "bad mom", although I felt it in my heart. He stuck by me, holding my hand... offering a shoulder... and encouraging me.

I yelled. I cried. I denied. I was bitter. I was angry. I broke down. I said I hated him for this. I wanted to hate him for throwing this in my face.... That was the illness taking over. PPD was not how I expected it to be. I was OK for about 80% of the day. It was the other 20% of the day that was hard. That was when the emotions kicked in and nothing could satisfy me. I felt crazy. Surely no sane person could go from crying hysterically, with blood shot eyes, to sullen and quiet, and back to happy in a matter of minutes.

Finally... Here we are 2 months later, and I feel like I am starting to get back to "me". This baby thing doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.

I finally feel OK. I finally feel like this manageable, even enjoyable. It was a long road, with a rocky path, but in the end I made it out alright... with a smile on my face and love in my heart. <3